
âGet off me! Is this what you call love?â
Iâm stunned.
Wait…what did I almost do?
Oh, Iâm a rapist and nobody told me? I sat up straight, my back turned to her. I couldnât look her in the eyes anymore-the fairy bulging eyes that stirred my soul just a moment ago. I felt shame engulf me and if I could, I wanted to swallow myself out of her presence. I sat speechless, my head in my palms and my heart thumping on the walls of my chest as if a fire alarm had just been triggered in my chest and it wanted to be evacuated.
I can suddenly feel the strings of sweat running down my neck.
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Tricia is sitting at the edge of my studentâs mattress on the floor, slightly tilted backwards.
I sat a few meters away from her, leaned against the wall, a lot of things running through my mind. Iâm swallowing hard on my saliva. It’s been three good hours and we have practically exhausted what there is to talk about. Past relationships, family, future aspirations and what have you. Indeed we have not totally exhausted the topics but we said what there was to say and now it was time for the big bang.
The big move.
My heartbeat rate had suddenly rocketed. My palm was sweating. My mind went blank and I could not bring up anything more to talk about. I could feel myself lurching forward and locking my lips in hers for a violent but passionate kiss. But for fear, my ass was still glued to the carpet in the corner of the room where I was sitting.
âWhat says the time? I should be leaving soonâ.
I would later realise that these were the words that propelled me into action.
âWhaat! Sheâs leaving soon? Sheâs just gonna leave like that?â
I cannot recall exactly how I managed to get closer, but before I knew it, I was sitting just an inch away from her. My fingers running through her braids, looking her in the eyes but still not mustering the courage I needed to take those fine lips in mine. Jack was not sitting easy down there either. I see her eyes flash up my thighs. She must have noticed Jack agitating in my shorts.
A demon in my head whispered âYo gee! She see the down der. She know what you dey wan do. She no wan do aa like she move away from you dadaadaâ
Iâm sure the demon in my head was right. With a little push, she was on her back. Iâd lean over to kiss her but be denied on three occasions.
Hell! I thought thatâs where it always starts from? It doesnât start with a kiss? Well, it turns out I didnât know shit.
My hands would navigate to her chest region and not encounter any resistance.
âOh, this is it?â Iâm sure I muttered to myself.
My hands stayed up there a bit while grinding myself against her. The grinding was taking place at the waist region-O come on! Donât look at me like that?-while she held me tight to herself. Should I say she locked me in her embrace? Yeah! Maybe. Jack is receiving a rush of blood at this point. Wait! My head is receiving a rush of blood too and that might have put pressure on my heart because I can feel my heart thumping. Of course, Iâm not the only one experiencing this. Sheâs heaving her chest and sheâs breathing heavily. Her lungs are probably asking for more of what we are doing. I was encouraged to sneak my hand further downstairs to unzip her queendom. Then I met a resistance as strong as the Great wall of China. Yo! How can we come this far and not go farther?
âAm I rushing you?â âYou are not ready now?â âAre you running late?â âKotoko dey park?â. Like I donât know what question I didnât ask. I asked all the questions in the world like I was running a diagnostics test. Still no answer. So I drew my own conclusion, park Jack back into the garage and rearranged everything onto the shelf just like I found them.
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âAh, so you, woman come your house, she enter your room, sit for your bed top, wey you no chop am? You be Jon ooâ
At this point, my heart froze. My body stiffened. And I couldnât find any words to appropriately react to what I was hearing.
âWhy, you bore? I just dey jokeâ
âYou just dey joke? Shun dey lieâ, I said as I threw his hands off my shoulder.
âSeriously, James, how you know sey woman come my room last week wey I no chop?â.
âNo jokes, flow me. She, she come tell you abi?â I quizzed.
Now, heâs the one frozen in his tracks. Unable to explain himself. He had probably been guarding his lips the whole week in order not to spill the beans. Finally, his tongue conspired against him and let the shit loose. He dropped the packaging films we were inspecting and headed to the lab. Of course I couldnât make peace with it so I followed him to the lab.
âOh na we just dey vibe wey your matter come inside. She just talk sey you be good boy so she come your dey sef you no chop am, unnecessary advice nkoaa you dey give amâ
Wow! The blueticks, the unanswered calls and avoided eye contacts at work in the past week can now be explained.
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How many more people did she tell this to? All her work colleagues? My legs started feeling heavier every time I had to go for an inspection in her department. It feels like Thor had just smashed my ego with his hammer. And I was determined that I was not going to make this mistake again. No lady Iâm making advances at, will enter my room and leave just like that.
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I am damned sure I had this ringing in my subconscious two months later when Ewura walked into my room.
Now when I look back, what Tricia did does not get to me as much as what I almost did to Ewura. I look back on that afternoon with shame. I am sure I would have hated myself if I succeeded. Or maybe I would join the league of monsters that advise their friends âOh, you for force am. She just go struggle plus you small, but if you enter naa she go relax den enjoy am. She go even beg you for round twoâ.
Yes, Iâve received that advice before. But wait! We have those kind of girls walking our earth? Pretend you donât want the sex, and let him force you into it? So that you don’t look cheap? Maybe, you are part of the problem.
We can do better!
